The Stories We Tell…Or Not

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This last week has had me thinking about the things we don’t talk about. Granted there is a lot I am candid about; my mental health, how I think or feel about certain topics, etc. In everyone’s life there is more to the story of their life than what we see. It affects them even if they feel like it doesn’t and it’s hard to move past it because it is uncomfortable and makes one vulnerable. So I’ve been thinking about what those things are for me and what I am going to do about them.

The first thing that needs to be done is figure out what all I don’t talk about. You can’t fix something you don’t know is broken. If you do know it’s broken and you know that fixing it will make it better then why don’t you fix it? Temporary discomfort is nothing compared to the constant aggravation of a broken piece.

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I admit, there is a lot of broken pieces. We all have them from various traumas and events to various losses and peoples’ actions towards us. We have to pick up the pieces and keep walking forward. Living day by day in the moment. When a situation arises and says “Here, remember how this happened? Well now I’m going to transfer your feelings on that past thing to this current situation.” In that moment we need to ask ourselves “What can I do to change how I respond and how I project that onto others?”

What’s ben done has been done, there is nothing we can do to change that no matter what. The best we can do is keep walking ahead one foot in front of the other dealing with things as they arise, as opposed to ignoring them because they won’t go away if ignored. It only gets worse.

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In the words of The Eleventh Doctor, “We are all stories in the end, just make it a good one eh?” The rest of your life is a new story. The pages are blank every day and you get to decide how the story plays out. Make the rest of your story one worth telling. Make it a story you want to tell.

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Crafting Wisdom

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I love working with my hands. I love making something from out of nothing but the materials I find. It gives my hands something to do while my brain does its thinking and I don’t get distracted as much as I might if I was just sitting and thinking without doing anything with my hands.

I have mental health problems, which, unless you are new here, you already know. I have clinical depression, social anxiety disorder, as well as post concussion problems (still a year and a half later). I know my depression and anxiety are here to stay, I can work with that. The post concussion is more frustrating though because I can tell where I’m off and no one can tell it’s a problem (as far as I know at least) or when it will go away. So I work with my hands by crocheting anytime and anywhere to try to manage symptoms and help me focus.

As a result I take a small crochet project that doesn’t require a pattern to read, just the same stitch repeated over again and usually a square for a blanket, so I can just automatically crochet it. On Mondays we have a morning worship and meeting. This last week I worked on a scarf. As I was working on it I had a realization. My life is like that scarf. I am the yarn. I started at the beginning and get spun around and twisted and put in a previous loop/stitch to move forward. I can’t see the pattern or where it is going to go. I don’t know what I’m going to look like in the end, but there is a purpose and when my life and the pattern is done there will be a finished product that will be useful. The further along you get the more you can see what it is supposed to be, but it still isn’t done and you can’t rush the process.

So here I go, even though I’m frustrated by the brain problems, weaving in and out to be made into what I am supposed to be. It’s a long process that can’t be rushed, but in the end it is worth it and the item has value.

We all have value. It doesn’t matter what we have been told or come to believe about ourselves based on our experience. We are all valuable. We are humans, we are people, we have a life and a purpose. No one was born for no reason. It’s finding our worth and believing it that is hard.

Handmade requires time, thought, and skill. We were not made thoughtlessly, nor are our lives.

A Galaxy Far, Far Away

One day I will make these into a blanket, and it will be huge.

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A Galaxy Far, Far Away

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Thank you so much for your interest in my blanket! It was a labor of love and a joy to watch take shape. I hope, that if you choose to make one, you enjoy every moment of it and the joy it brings.

What you will need

Size G hook
Tapestry/yarn needle
Scissors
Worsted weight yarn I used 10 colors and it worked out to roughly 7oz of each color.  Now some of these are Vanna’s choice and they don’t come in 7oz so you’ll need two to get the amount. Also gauge and tension will affect it… so you might want to look through the blanket and add a little. For instance you have 4 navy squares, 4 light blue squares, 4 black squares… maybe get two of those. Unfortunately a lot of this was stash yarn for me so I’m guessing a…

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