There have been people talking a lot about the new year and what that looks like. Some of it is the usual “I’m going to eat better and exercise.” I’ll just interject here and say that isn’t me. *continues to eat Cheezies* People look at it as a clean slate of a whole big chunk of time. Some come up with words that they want to be their year (like grace). I don’t know if it’s a product of my age but I see the new year as just another number change. So the last number in the ticking changes, but does your life really change? Does it really affect your life?
I don’t know if it’s a product of the depression, but I find every day is an open segment of time that you have set things you need to do and the rest of the time, and how you deal with those set things, is wide open and up to you. Is it nice to have a focus for the year? Maybe, but having been almost dead once or twice and suicidal with the depression (not anymore, even if the thoughts are there, don’t worry) I don’t think in chunks of time that are that long too much because so much can change. Would I love to have long term ideals? Absolutely. There are things in life I want that are definitely long term, but I have to live in the now until those two time frames collide. Why wait for the long term when all you are guaranteed is now? The old saying of “Why put off to tomorrow what you can do today.” sounds like an anti-procrastination tool. It is, you should do your annoying icky homework now instead of tomorrow or the last minute, it’s called effective time management. It also is your future though. If you don’t do it now when will you do it? Someday? When is that? 1 year? 5 years? 20 years? Eventually the time has passed and you think “Why didn’t I do that sooner?” There are experiences you have now missed out on, people you have missed out on. It doesn’t even have to be a major thing, it can be small things. Small things are sometimes the best things in my opinion. Like the green of a tree against a blue sky (which I stared at on lunch). Why not make it a point to stop and really look at a mundane little everyday thing and really appreciate it. I’ve been taking my crochet on the train. I have had a few conversations because of it, and it’s been great. Talking to people I wouldn’t normally with no pressure but maybe even a common thing.
So why not take that little day trip to a lake on a day off. Or that coffee with a friend? There’s no excuses. You don’t have time? Make time because you don’t know how much time anyone really has left. I know all too well how hard it is to make time with my energy meter needing to be constantly watched so I don’t go off the deep end. Some days even sending a quick hi to a friend feels daunting. Blogging is daunting, mundane paperwork is always daunting. I want to be doing stuff that involves my creativity but there is the balance that needs to be kept.
Some days I have nothing to say and others I have a lot, lol. I still haven’t done a proper Star Wars or The Revenant review or even really updated what we’ve been up to here. Another time though. This time is about the time you have and what you do with it. New Year’s Day is just another day. Each day should be deliberate. It’s always a choice, what you do, who you talk to, what drives you, to complete what you need to complete or let something else get done instead. Then live with the actions of those choices.
So now I have to go get food. I will have to write what is actually actively going on here another time.