The End of December

It is the last day of December and I realized I was so busy having fun I forgot to update here. Ok, it wasn’t all fun and games. I had 2 weeks vacation from Dec. 7 to Dec 21. Then of course it was Christmas Eve through Boxing Day weekend. So I have only worked 6 days this month really. Work was interesting because it was finishing up painting etc in the community room. So that meant up a ladder painting a ceiling in the back of the room. Then it was back to the office and read scripts, clean up the place, work on assigned projects. The last couple of days of my vacation was moving rooms and cleaning the old one. It’s nice not to be on the top bunk of a bunk bed. My roommate is staying the same and she is currently visiting her boyfriend in Canada. So the last month I have pretty much been alone in the room or not in the room.

Vacation was relaxing, as it needed to be. I went to the museum, since the original plans for a 2 week road trip fell through, and the art galleries. I watched In the Heart of the Sea. I watched The Dressmaker, an Australian film with Kate Winslet, with my friend Natasha. I loved the film. Natasha even made sure I went to Byron Bay and we saw more wildlife than she’d seen at one time there. We saw a snake (the first one I’ve seen here), 2 stingrays, 2 sharks, a pod of dolphins, then a solo dolphin that rode a wave and jumped and spun. We also saw a huge bearded dragon. We went swimming at Byron, not for long since she had to get back to get to work, but it was beautiful and a joyous moment. I swam with a fish but I don’t know what kind. It was just hanging out by me.

The weekend before that one Hannah M and I went up to visit her aunt and uncle who were house-sitting. It was a beautiful house with a pool and we went to the beach one day as well. It was nice and relaxing even with kids around. They were good kids, the youngest is under a year and we looked after them one night while the parents went out. She screamed and screamed, as they do, and I managed to get her to sleep. Phew. Before we went there though we went to Hannah’s house for one night and ate M&M’s while watching all 4 hours of BBC North & South followed by the entire first series of Broadchurch. My filmmaker brain decided who it was that was the killer and it was right. Woo, I learned! Ha ha. I really did have a great vacation.

The midnight showings of the new Star Wars were packed. I went with one of the guys from the office and I was so into it I didn’t feel tired. I really enjoyed it and thought about it way too much. So now I have everything there is to know for sure figured out (I’ve seen it 3 times now) and feel like a kid fascinated by it once again. I know it isn’t perfect and people that complain that it follows the same “story” as the original need to read up on the Hero’s Journey (the basic story format) which is followed to a t by the original, the second one lost a bit of that format, but in general it is mostly following that as well. So it makes sense that there would be the same general outline as well as giving the fans the bunch of callbacks to the original, almost too many though. So yeah, not perfect but then Star Wars never was.

I haven’t really thought about this year past and what next year might bring. It’s just one day after another as time marches on really. You wake up, you do life, you eat, you sleep, then do it all over again. So now that I’m thinking about it this year is full of things I never thought would happen. Working on films, going back to Australia for longer, quitting my job, new Star Wars (no really, this Gen-Xer never thought that the continuation would ever happen…ever), leaving the family and cats, leaving the friends. It’s been a long hard walk the last year and a half, even 2 years. Fighting clinical depression every day and trying to do the normal things regular people can do (and then some) without crashing. There’s been a few times come close but no crashes and no doing anything bad. God has been faithful and I have to watch that I don’t overstretch. I know He has been teaching me things, but I can’t for the life of me figure out how to put whatever that is into words. I’m at an age now where I do more of the teaching the younger ones and trying to learn from their youthful exuberance. Ha ha. I’m not calling myself old, even though sometimes I joke about being too old for this (but that is more a movie reference that makes me laugh than anything), but realizing that experience in life has taught me and I need to pass that on while gaining new experiences.

So that leads up to 2016 in 7 1/2 hours. I honestly haven’t thought about what I want the next year to look like, or what might happen. There are some things I do know, like I will finally work on a feature film and staff the next SDF, and Star Wars Rogue 1 comes out (but that is the only movie I’m mentioning because there as so many, lol). Other than that though, there is so many possibilities for what can happen that there is no point in trying to think of what direction to make it go in, because that is not up to me. That is up to God. So some things for me personally that I need to make sure I do in the upcoming year: take a day off if I need to so I don’t sink. Mostly I am ok, but some days I should stay in bed like my body tells me to. It’s not like “Oh, I’m so tired I just want to stay in bed. Yawn.” It’s more like “The sun is too bright. Everything hurts. Don’t talk to me people. I hurt inside for no reason. I need to not move today even if I want to.” Another one is make sure I remember vitamins and eating. Be social more, but not so much that it is bad for me. Take time off for me to regenerate, make sure it is solitary as well with no interruptions. Basically a lot more self- care so I don’t crash and burn, especially with the film coming up. Read more. Watch and learn from more films (I just really really want to see Ex Machina right this minute). More God time. That’s all I can think of right now though. There are probably other things but they just aren’t coming to me, or even feasible. Although I do want to cross off some of my bucket list in the next year, in case I go back to Canada and don’t come back here (not sure about that one yet).

Film related things though. Well, next year is working on the film. I want/need to write more, but that requires solitude or I just get distracted from letting my brain go. I need to finish the last film before I make another one, but I want to make another one. I don’t know. It’s the end of the work day/week and I’m hungry so my brain is done for the day, lol.

I want to wish everyone a happy new year. I hope you all have a great night on the eve of it, stay safe and enjoy. Love you guys.

The Importance of Telling Your Story: Depression

Yep yep and yep.

The Oxytocin Chronicles

DISCLAIMER: So, heads up, this video was going to suck a lot less UNTIL I dropped my phone into a vat of soap and grease at work and lost my background video and commentary.

Also BOTH my “professional sources” never emailed me back/couldn’t make it. So shame on me for procrastination nation, and shame on fast food for just being a horrendous working environment in general. Moving on.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 1.42.52 PM what comes up when you search “depression clipart.” helping the stigma. much?

Depression. There is a stigma behind it. You’ve seen the memes showing a dark shadow following you around, or the images of cuts across wrists and mascara running down faces. But is that what depression really is?

Apparently not. Actually, depression is lurking in corners of things we may think are quite ordinary. According to this article, entitled 5 Uncommon Signs of Depression, some normal, but often overlooked signs…

View original post 465 more words

Generation Cry Baby: Why Millennials Are a F**king Joke

Oh snap. I like the side note part 2. I try not to fall back on my brain sickness as an excuse, although there does reach a point where you need to peace out and go do some self care, but there is this thing I learned called no excuses. No one is perfect, people mess up or fall down, but at least trying to live a proper functional life as best as you can day in and day out and hope people forgive you when you have a bad day where you just need to stop and turn into a whining baby for a bit. Also, there is swearing, just so you know.

The Oxytocin Chronicles

We’re raising a generation of pussies. There. I said it.

imgres-1

When I was a junior in high school, I had the most amazing AP English teacher. Her name was Ms. Wei. She prefaced the class by saying that she would grade us fairly, and that these grades would not always be A’s.

“I get that you and your parents all think you all are ‘special snowflakes,’ but I will grade you based on your writing, and if your parents email me complaining about these grades, I will ignore them.”

Now Ms. Wei was a little blunt for some (I freaking adored that woman, and I don’t know anyone who didn’t), but she brought up a good point.

Millennials: your parents won’t say it, and your peers won’t say it because it seems every little thing is sending you all to a therapist because you’re just sooooooo victimized, but

Get. The…

View original post 762 more words