365 Days of Film: January

I accidentally watched a movie a day for the first week of January. Like a crazy person I thought “Hey, why not keep going for the entire year. You can watch movies and study them at the same time. Win win!”

Yeah, probably not the smartest idea I’ve had as it puts the pressure on me to watch a movie not just because I want to, but have to. It has been a bit of a struggle but I am determined. Some are repeated viewing, because I love them or am in the mood, and others are for broadening my film horizons. Without further ado, here’s January’s list in order.

1. Strictly Ballroom (1992): Great way to start off the new year. Yes, rom com and formulaic ugly duckling story. It’s just so good! Baz Luhrmann’s first feature film.
2. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016): Flat out this one isn’t going to be for everyone due to content (language, violence, sex, drunken people). I did love it though. It was real.
3. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016): It’s Star Wars, that is all. Love it, but flawed.
4. In Secret (2013): Period piece based on a classic French novel. Started off slow and full of sex then, bam! it went super dark. Not for everyone, but the actors were great.
5. Ex Machina (2015): Finally saw it! Very cerebral and original. I liked it a lot, but it requires your full attention.
6. Ben-Hur (2016): It’s just good. I did like it and how they did it to tell the story and not be the Heston version. Still, not necessary to have made it.
7. The Last Witch Hunter (2015): I wanted to turn my brain off and not have anything heavy. Interesting concept but it only played out meh.
8. The Motorcycle Diaries (2004): Why did I not watch this sooner?! Love it, steady, interesting, and inspiring. Spanish with English subtitles.
9. Y Tu Mama Tambien (2002): Definitely not for everyone. Lots of nudity and sexual content. In spite of that I found it captivating and interesting. Loved it really. Spanish with English subtitles.
10. The Host (2013): Another day I wanted a no thinker. Visually well done, actors were good. Story meh from a meh source material.
11. Bolgen (The Wave) (2015): Formulaic, but the pacing and tension was great. I was talking to the characters on screen (rare for me). Norwegian with English subtitles.
12. Terminator Genysis (2015): Argh, this one is frustrating because it was a set up for a trilogy that will never play out. As a stand alone it was ok, but it could have been better.
13. A Little Bit of Heaven (2011): I thought I had seen it, I had not. Not the worst, but still meh. I love Gael Garcia Bernal as an actor, but he barely rescued it.
14. Mojave (2015): Ok, interesting idea, played out kind of bad. It was a series of events that ended up with nothing changing. I had to pay attention and it was only minorly interesting.
15. Thor: The Dark World (2013): It’s MCU, not much to say other than that. I still feel like something is missing in it though.
16. Dead Man Down (2013): This one is still haunting me. Interesting concept. Colin Farrell and Noomi Rapace were great, even in no dialogue spots. Really loved it. Violence and language.
17. Moana (2016): Love! Beautiful and detailed animation, love the music and the story. Happiness in visual form for me.
18. Sin Nombre (2009): I really liked this one. Violence abounds, for a reason aka Latin American gangs. However it was still a simple tale of people who came together on a journey. Good acting. Spanish with English subtitles.
19. Chasing Liberty (2004): So formulaic and predictable. I still like it for a no-brainer.
20. The 400 Blows (1959): I found it slow, but so well done, especially for a first feature film. I need to be in the mood though. French with English subtitles.
21. Cloverfield (2008): I still love it. I love the lack of score. I love that it is the exact length of the tape that the people in the film would have used. Monster film.
22. Children of Men (2006): I still love this one too. Steady and gritty. Violence and language warning.
23. Pillow Talk (1959): Ooo, risque for the era. Very dated though. I think a lot of people today won’t understand the point behind it due to the premise of a party line alone.
24. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014): This one was good, not great, but good.
25. Lost Horizon (1937): I haven’t seen it in years. It’s to the era and is good, but I wasn’t in the mood for it. That happens.
26. Prisoners (2013): Very intense and well done. Not for everyone, the violence mostly. Freaking Hugh Jackman was disturbing in a good way. I cringed when I should have.
27. Zootopia (2016): Cute and original, which is great. Wasn’t expecting a detective/crime thriller type (even though I knew the bunny was a cop) that was as intense as it was in a kids film. Pretty good and didn’t have to think, just enjoy.
28. You Instead (Tonight You’re Mine) (2011): Formulaic rom com type, but different and original enough. I really liked it. Love the soundtrack and it made me smile.
29. If I Stay (2014): A re-watch, but I still like it. Teen audience romantic tearjerker, but still keeps me following it.
30. Sing (2016): That was fun. Again, the formula is there but it was original enough that I really liked it. The music was great, as were the actors.
31. Blue Jay (2016): Oh my goodness. Black and white and not colour, which worked really well. It was steady and real. The actors had amazing chemistry, I could feel the emotions/atmosphere come off the screen. There were great. Small indie film, worth it.

So there you have my first month of movie watching. Granted I don’t tell you much about the films, if I wanted to do a proper review I’d be typing one up a day and have no time for anything else.

How did I acquire all these random films? The public library is actually a great resource for free rentals of films. I also went to the theatre for some (since they are too recent to be on DVD), took out a few from the local video rental store, raided my personal collection, and Netflix. Sometimes I look on Netflix for ones I would never think of when I’m at a rental shop because it is less blockbuster and more random ones.

If anyone wants to know why I watch some of the very non-family friendly ones, feel free to ask. I have no issue with answering that, it just takes up too much space here.

Ok, hopefully I won’t be super quiet on here for the next month until I do the next month of films post. Take care everyone. Blessings.

Hilary

February 1, 2017February 1, 2017 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

What Lies Beneath.

Well, it has been far too long since I updated here.

After we wrapped the film it was straight into prepping the film school and starting phase 3 of the leadership school I was taking. When we started the lectures for that we were informed that all of us on phase 3 had to complete it by the end of December due to regulation changes and various course related decisions. That was a full 2 months ahead of schedule, and then after we graduated we had 28 days before our student visas were also expired.

So, that was a shock, but the thing was it got done. All of it, both schools, the articles I wrote for The Independent Initiative. I even graduated with the film and acting students and the other two Initiative members that were doing the same leadership school as I was.

That meant coming home a full 2 and a half to three months earlier than I had originally planned. Before I came home, I got to go to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary and I finally got to see koalas and kangaroos. At this point I had still not actually seen much in the way of wildlife, and definitely neither of those animals. It was the best. It was a beautiful day, ok, hot one which I loved, and the animals were just hanging out.

The above little guy had spotted the new branches they were being brought to climb and munch on, and he was very excited.

So on Dec. 6, 2016 I got on an airplane in Brisbane, and ended up back home in Golden. It was a 50 degree Celsius drop in temperature. Needless to say I got sick pretty quickly and jet lag was really rough. I still don’t know where I am some days.

I think I have sort of settled in. I had Christmas with the entire immediate family for the first time in probably 10 years. That was great.

I’m actually leaving the house in the cold, but I need a reason to do it as I have not gotten used to the cold yet. I probably won’t this year at all. It can warm up any day now.

By now I was hoping to have something awesome and insightful to say, but this time I really don’t. I’m still figuring out what I am going to do here, trying to keep warm, and figure out what the future is going to look like. I have applied for a job, so I’m praying that works out.

I have a bunch of projects, of the handmade/needlework variety, that I am trying to finish or make in general. So far I’m making progress, but I keep getting distracted from the bigger projects by small ones I can check off the list faster.

I have also started 365 days of films. I have watched one film a day for every day of the year so far, and am gong to keep that up as much as possible. It’s mostly going to be ones that are on my watch list as opposed to re-watches. Although I have watched a few repeat films from my life so far.

As it is getting late I should watch tonight’s film. Title to be determined still. I hope you all are well and are keeping healthy and having a great new year so far. Blessings and thank you all for your support over the last couple of years. I’ll try to keep updated on what I’m doing and working on as the year progresses.

 

January 15, 2017 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

I Had Thoughts

Technically I wrote this 8 months ago but never posted it. I don’t know why but, maybe I was waiting to see if I could articulate it better. I think I will leave it as is, just as a thing I was pondering. The questions are rhetorical in there. It wasn’t something that happened to me that made me write it, just a story I was told and discussions with friends plus observations. So, here it goes…

 

This is general, it may sound like it’s all about me, but it isn’t. I sit, I observe, I think. It’s what I do in my down time.

I was thinking today about the double standards and ridiculous at times expectations set for us women by men. Yes, I’m looking at you Christian men to a degree.

Why do you insist that it’s what is inside that counts but can list a bunch of superficial reasons why you aren’t interested in a woman?

I have heard it all:

Too old. (I have heard this from a few ladies, so it isn’t just me.)

Too stubborn/strong-willed. (Again, heard from more than myself.)

Not dressing up nice enough or making an effort. (Definition of dressing up being completely done up, not just looking casual nice, for every day or going out in public.)

Too tall.

Not “sexy enough”.

Not wearing makeup, because that will help you look prettier.

Too smart.

Too much of a tomboy. (I once was told I am too much like one of the guys that a guy doesn’t know what to do with me. I and others have also been told half jokingly by Christian men to get back in the kitchen where we belong.)

Probably a lesbian.

Too crazy.

You know what? You can think that all you want. If we are supposed to view others the way God sees them, then why are those things problems?

Why is it that we are supposed to love people regardless of those things, yet when it comes to a relationship girls are supposed to be ok with guys that are average and guys are not?

Why do men in the church act like they want a perfect wife? She has to do it all and look hot in the process.

Why do the men not want an older woman, but if the age difference is reversed it is ok?

Why are we letting the superficial things dictate what we want in a woman, or even man for that matter?

Why do we let what society says a woman should be dictate what we think Christian women should look and be like?

Did not God make all of us unique? Why do we want a clone of someone supposedly perfect?

Why do we close our eyes and our hearts to what might be God’s best for us because they don’t fit some little box on our superficial list we want to check off?

Why do we women let society tell us who to be?

Why do we women not let our men be men?

Why is a girl who likes guy things a threat to a man’s masculinity?

Did not God make us the way we are? With our interests and personalities, flaws and faults. Is it bothering you because your pride may be wounded that a girl may know more or do something better than you?

Are we not meant to be the strength for another’s weakness?

Why do you tell a woman there is nothing wrong with her then proceed to tell her what areas she is not “enough” for you? Is that not sending a mixed message?

We need to stop sending the mixed messages from both sides. Men and women are supposed to guard their hearts, so why would a Christian man play games with a woman’s heart by flirting then telling her she is not enough? Why would a Christian woman do the same to a man?

We are supposed to build each other up and edify one another. Strengthen one another, so why do you deliberately do differently?

It’s fine and all good to not be interested in someone, but as Christians we should be building up not tearing down. God made us and made us good as we are. Who are we to tell anyone, especially one of His children, that they do not meet our standards so they are less than they should be. Is it your own standards or God’s that they don’t meet?

I call B.S. I think it is the fear of getting close to anyone and using those things as excuses, or just saying something to be a “nice” let down instead of a flat out “I don’t think of you like that, sorry.”

The thing I learned is love. Love others as they are, love yourself as you are. You are unique and worthy. God made you to be uniquely you, so do it. Be you no matter what.

Physical beauty is fleeting. It fades away. A strong and good character is eternal. That should be what matters, not the shiny packaging that is all style and no substance. Having both is great, but the outside is not what matters.

Remember, just because someone doesn’t think you aren’t enough for them for a relationship, it doesn’t mean you aren’t enough to God.

In all honesty, you are much better off not being in a relationship with any person that doesn’t value you for who you were made to be.

January 15, 2017 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

It’s a Wrap!!!!

This about sums it up. #readit

July 21, 2016 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

I Had Ponderings

I read this the other day: “Do not hold back on your excitement or your happiness.”

Ok, I will take that. No one gets to tell me to “shh” when I get excited and passionate about something anymore, it has happened more times than I can count in my life. Unless I’m being disrespectful of a meeting or some such thing. That sort of reason is ok, but be respectful in how it’s approached is the key.

You’d be surprised how much even loving Christians can crush the spirit of someone by telling them to not show their exuberance for something in life. A passion that God has given them. When they get excited about it and start talking excitedly, the “ssshhh” comes out as does the hand gestures of settle down.

Why would anyone deliberately crush someone’s spirit and enthusiasm? Why would you indicate to someone that their exuberance and their passion are not a good thing, thereby making them think they aren’t important to you? You might not be as passionate about it, or not really be in the mood for their enthusiasm, but why would you try to stop them from their enthusiasm? It just teaches them that even though God made them that way or gave them that passion and excitement it’s not acceptable to the people they care about.

Imagine doing that to someone repeatedly over the years. No matter where they go or what they do or say little by little their enthusiasm for life etc gets hidden by them around people because they have been told not to be who they are. Their light gets hidden, sometimes it goes out.

I know I may have come across negative here, but that is just it. When you try to keep a person down or make them like you they lose who they are and were meant to be.

We are to build each other up not tear each other down.

We are made unique, not like everyone else.

We are supposed to celebrate what makes us different.

To live with passion and exuberance is to be full.

We are to live with joy so why do we try to diminish how people show that?

The key thing is respect. We as people need to be respectful of how what we do affects others. Whether that is being the exuberant one or the shushing one.

Is it 1 am and you are outside singing loudly? Yes? Then you probably deserve shushing.

Is it 12 pm and you just saw the new Star Wars trailer? Yes? If someone is shushing you then they perhaps need to remember that nothing is wrong with exuberance. The only problem is the time and place. If it isn’t the right time then you need to reign it in and wait, but if there is not reason to be quiet then be excited. Love what you love without apologies. If it isn’t hurting anyone, illegal, immoral, or unhealthy then there is no problem.

Sometimes the waiting is hard for me. I do forget and a noise will just burst out. In those cases I need to remember to avoid the triggers of those kinds of reactions.

Let us remember, to have consideration for others. To build each other up and not tear each other down. To remember that all actions have consequences, even if you don’t realize it can and will have a consequence.

April 24, 2016 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

What Dreams May Come

I wrote this blog for The Initiative Production Company, where I am currently working. Dream big and don’t give up.

April 22, 2016 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized 2 Comments

The Stories We Tell…Or Not

This last week has had me thinking about the things we don’t talk about. Granted there is a lot I am candid about; my mental health, how I think or feel about certain topics, etc. In everyone’s life there is more to the story of their life than what we see. It affects them even if they feel like it doesn’t and it’s hard to move past it because it is uncomfortable and makes one vulnerable. So I’ve been thinking about what those things are for me and what I am going to do about them.

The first thing that needs to be done is figure out what all I don’t talk about. You can’t fix something you don’t know is broken. If you do know it’s broken and you know that fixing it will make it better then why don’t you fix it? Temporary discomfort is nothing compared to the constant aggravation of a broken piece.

I admit, there is a lot of broken pieces. We all have them from various traumas and events to various losses and peoples’ actions towards us. We have to pick up the pieces and keep walking forward. Living day by day in the moment. When a situation arises and says “Here, remember how this happened? Well now I’m going to transfer your feelings on that past thing to this current situation.” In that moment we need to ask ourselves “What can I do to change how I respond and how I project that onto others?”

What’s ben done has been done, there is nothing we can do to change that no matter what. The best we can do is keep walking ahead one foot in front of the other dealing with things as they arise, as opposed to ignoring them because they won’t go away if ignored. It only gets worse.

In the words of The Eleventh Doctor, “We are all stories in the end, just make it a good one eh?” The rest of your life is a new story. The pages are blank every day and you get to decide how the story plays out. Make the rest of your story one worth telling. Make it a story you want to tell.

March 20, 2016 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

Crafting Wisdom

I love working with my hands. I love making something from out of nothing but the materials I find. It gives my hands something to do while my brain does its thinking and I don’t get distracted as much as I might if I was just sitting and thinking without doing anything with my hands.

I have mental health problems, which, unless you are new here, you already know. I have clinical depression, social anxiety disorder, as well as post concussion problems (still a year and a half later). I know my depression and anxiety are here to stay, I can work with that. The post concussion is more frustrating though because I can tell where I’m off and no one can tell it’s a problem (as far as I know at least) or when it will go away. So I work with my hands by crocheting anytime and anywhere to try to manage symptoms and help me focus.

As a result I take a small crochet project that doesn’t require a pattern to read, just the same stitch repeated over again and usually a square for a blanket, so I can just automatically crochet it. On Mondays we have a morning worship and meeting. This last week I worked on a scarf. As I was working on it I had a realization. My life is like that scarf. I am the yarn. I started at the beginning and get spun around and twisted and put in a previous loop/stitch to move forward. I can’t see the pattern or where it is going to go. I don’t know what I’m going to look like in the end, but there is a purpose and when my life and the pattern is done there will be a finished product that will be useful. The further along you get the more you can see what it is supposed to be, but it still isn’t done and you can’t rush the process.

So here I go, even though I’m frustrated by the brain problems, weaving in and out to be made into what I am supposed to be. It’s a long process that can’t be rushed, but in the end it is worth it and the item has value.

We all have value. It doesn’t matter what we have been told or come to believe about ourselves based on our experience. We are all valuable. We are humans, we are people, we have a life and a purpose. No one was born for no reason. It’s finding our worth and believing it that is hard.

Handmade requires time, thought, and skill. We were not made thoughtlessly, nor are our lives.

March 11, 2016March 11, 2016 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized 2 Comments

A Galaxy Far, Far Away

One day I will make these into a blanket, and it will be huge.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost 32

A Galaxy Far, Far Away

 

Thank you so much for your interest in my blanket! It was a labor of love and a joy to watch take shape. I hope, that if you choose to make one, you enjoy every moment of it and the joy it brings.

What you will need

Size G hook
Tapestry/yarn needle
Scissors
Worsted weight yarn I used 10 colors and it worked out to roughly 7oz of each color.  Now some of these are Vanna’s choice and they don’t come in 7oz so you’ll need two to get the amount. Also gauge and tension will affect it… so you might want to look through the blanket and add a little. For instance you have 4 navy squares, 4 light blue squares, 4 black squares… maybe get two of those. Unfortunately a lot of this was stash yarn for me so I’m guessing a…

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March 5, 2016 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

How I See Film’s Differently Par moi, Hilary Dorst

A blog I wrote for The Initiative Production Company, aka where I work. 🙂

February 25, 2016 by hila35 Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment